So, I can't seem to get to sleep. I've finally gotten some time off from the ship, a bit of gumption to update this journal, and a bit of vodka in me for fuel. I might as well make constructive use of this time I'm up, when I definitely shouldn't be. I've got work in the morning.

A lot of catching up! (Skip this part if you don't want a long read or care about stuff that happened since August)
So, while I was in Everett waiting for the ship to come back from sea and doing their indoctrination classes on the base, there was some volunteer work to be done with the extra time we had. I went to some organization that helped animals called PAWS a few times to help take care of their grounds (I trimmed bushes, mowed, and whacked weeds for them). And there was a nice place called Jim Creek that we went to for restoration (cleared some trails, got eaten by bugs, installed wood fences, and explored creeks). Again, I have pictures if anybody would teach me something as simple as inserting said pictures as links, and showing me a picture site to upload to besides photobucket (they have terrible size restrictions). Oh, and I worked out a bunch in that spare time, when I wasn't driving down on the weekends to visit my family. Turns out volleyball is a lot of fun, and I got decent at it with practice. I miss having the time to play that.
I went shopping in Seattle with Ruth a couple times, and it was awesome to catch up with her. It was fun to roam around and look at random stuff, even buy a few things, and have an old friend to talk to. Wish I had the chance to do it more often, and with more people.
Anyway, then the fun started. The ship came back, I reported aboard, and things got off to a slow start. The ship moved to Bremerton, and I got sent to Fire Watch instead of working on quals and trying to get to division. I was there a couple months. That job was ridiculous! I got to watch welders work, make sure they behaved, and put out fires as necessary. Eventually, I was made a supervisor for a night-time crew, and had to babysit some lazy folks. Then I got to go back to my real job and work towards getting into my division. Did it, got there, good stuff. Ever since, I've been stagnant at work, doing the same old stuff. Quals, cleaning (lots of this), grinding, painting, making copies, finding people, going on food runs, and moving things (basic grunt jobs more senior people are too lazy to do). Also, because of the department I'm in and the crappy job I picked, I never got to go home once I made it into division. I just got a 2 day weekend over this Memorial Day weekend, and that's the first time in >months< I've had more than 24 hours of liberty. They kept us on board for days and weeks at a time, while the rest of the ship got to go home.
BTW, home for me at this point, is the guest bedroom at Dad's condo. He left to go to sea sometime in January, right before my birthday. Chong (his girlfriend) didn't want to stick around since he's not here, so the place has been to myself when I get the rare occasion to visit home. He sends me occasional e-mails as he gets the chance, with pep-talks and jokes to try and cheer me up because he hears about what all's going on here (and I can't even come close to telling you all of it).
I had a girlfriend for some time. She's a beautiful girl, who got me to socialize and relax. She was smart, we made each other laugh so easily, and I never ran out of things to talk with her about. It was amazing. Until she finally couldn't handle that we never got to see each other at all, even though I was in-port (i.e. the ship keeping me aboard all the time) and with my schedule constantly changing. We broke up. We're still good friends, we talk and hang out sometimes, but it's pretty crappy that the only reason we had to break up was my job. Things are a little akward now, but I'm trying my best. She's dating a nice guy now. Somehow, I am happy for her and so disappointed at the same time.
Oh, yeah. Jesse, my dog, died also while I was stuck on the ship. Kevin (Mom's boyfriend) has these dogs of his that moved into the house when he did. Jesse was getting very, very old (mostly blind, mostly dead, very snippy since she wasn't completely aware of her surroundings, and suffering from arthritis). Well, one of Kevin's big dogs bit her neck wide open. They rushed her to the vet, and the recovery process was going to be so painful and she was so old that it was going to be better to put Jesse down. So now, Jesse's a box full of ashes that sits on the mantle, another reminder that my old life is far behind me. I miss her.
My brother, Ryan, wants to join the Army. My family has tried any number of times to talk him out of it, through reasonable conversation and arguments, both of which to no avail. And he gave them the benefit of the doubt, sat and listened to them nicely. He's still gonna do it. He's convinced that he's going to make an awesome Cavalier Scout. Which really means he's going to get shipped to Iraq, and scout alone ahead of the troops in a foreign and hostile country. He's got an excellent chance of dying. I don't want my brother to die, but he should be happy and do something with his life. It's a difficult situation that's been put on hold until Dad gets back from sea to talk with him.

So, some things that are more recent!
Not too long ago, I met up with Jeny and Rollo and Danielle at Shari's to catch up on things a little and hang out. Wow, Danielle has changed. Nothing near what she used to be back in Middle School. I liked her more then, honestly. It was a bit of a long night with a little drinking involved for merriment, as any get-together with friend should be. We watched "Mirrormask", which is some crazy stuff. I also found out that I used to be an asshole, back in High School. Apparently I had some kind of God Complex and thought I was better than others, or something along those lines. If I ever treated any of you that way, I apologize. I'm really sorry. Work has beaten me down and humbled me; I know how dumb I am.
Considering I'm stuck on the ship so much, and occasionally have some free time there, I've bought some things to make it bearable. I've greatly expanded my movie collection, buying DVDs in small spurts when I get the opportunity to leave and visit a store. It's kind of an addiction, looking for something good that I don't have yet. My folder is plenty large now, feel free to broswe for something to watch if you ever wanna stop by and hang out. I bought a Nintendo DS, and that thing really grabs you by the short hairs. 8-man "Mario Kart" games can be fierce, and "Elite Beat Agents" has me listening to some songs I never thought I'd put an ear to. Speaking of music, I bought an iPod, and I'm doing my best to load it up. If any of you have suggestions for good bands or songs to try out, please let me know. I will at least try or sample anything you think is good. I've expanded from just Rock on to include Alternative, Dance, and a little Electronic. Oh, and I pumped the 3 seasons of "Drawn Together" into the little bugger. If you want nonstop Politically Incorrect hilarity, you should take a gander.
I took up WoW. Yes, that sounds terrible, but there's decent reasons behind it. Dad quit EQ because WoW doesn't require the same amount of time or dedication to play, and he could play with plenty of the guys from work. So I started up to be able to play with him also (while he was here). I'm not super into it like I was with EQ, but it's fun.

Anyway, that's plenty for now. I'm sure it's not complete, considering I am a bit out of it, but I ought to be willing myself into sleep for the morning. Won't be able to leave the ship again until this weekend, but feel free to call and try to make plans if you want. I don't particularly like sitting at home by myself. My phone is always on, the number has not changed, and I check for messages when I get the chance. (BTW, I lost track of how many times I hit the Erase buttons to fix all the typos here. Hope you enjoyed my rambling.)

Sean/Arny/Jackson/Sleepy



Leave Out All The Rest:

"Dreamed I was missing
You were so scared
But no one would listen
Cause no one else cared

After my dreaming
I woke with this fear
What am I leaving
When I'm done here

So if you're asking me
I want you to know

When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed

And don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory

Leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest

Don't be afraid
I've takien my beating
I've shared what I've been

I'm strong on the surface
Not all the way through
I've never been perfect
But neither have you

So if you're asking me
I want you to know
When my time comes

Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed

Don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory

Leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest

Forgetting
All the hurt inside
You've learned to hide so well

Pretending
Someone else can come and save me from myself
I can't be who you are

When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed

Don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory

Leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest

Forgetting
All the hurt inside
You've learned to hide so well

Pretending
Someone else can come and save me from myself
I can't be who you are
I can't be who you are"